To the time machine-UH!! But I am Ken The Falconer Mortimer! Will Forte has done this to us. He’s subtly and inconspicuously become the most satisfyingly quotable cast member on Saturday Night Live, with that odd drawl of his that completely belies his Californian rearing and a deadpan that Horatio Sanz could never pull off. Every Saturday night, he’s the most peculiar gent operating, taking on characters that exist on the far side of the normal guy all fucked up scale and if that just isn’t the best place to be, we don’t know what is. His normal guy take on characters that then dive right into the deep end without the faintest of warning signs and very little splash is the kind of humor that isn’t as absurd as it sounds. Oh, suppose it is, but the point is that all of the things that we can’t picture people we’re familiar with thinking or acting out – the nasty sexual urges, the crazy, psychotic charges and imaginings that often just get swept back to the corner where most would think they belong, get verbalized in Forte’s characters. He makes humor a reflection of the seediness and loopy cast off inklings that occur daily in everyone’s mind. You can’t deny that thoughts of making a time machine with trees, dirt and gumption haven’t presented themselves to at one time or another – maybe not in those terms, but in similar ones. The most buttoned-up of sorts allow themselves those flights of fancy that are a little off, but most of the time they’re never, ever given any recognition. They’re squashed so quickly and dismissed as the demented offerings of an unsettling voice that’s not yours. Forte brings these bizarre cravings and completely funny ideas to light. They’re not all twisted, of course, but when they’re played off as normal behavior, as Forte does, that’s when they’re at their best. When he portrayed a spelling bee contestant tasked to spell the word business, he rampages off into what seems like a 20-minute soliloquy of Qs – q, q, q, q, q, q,… — and not laughing, that’s what would be considered absurd. As the stuffy cubicle dweller out with his co-workers for happy hour drinks, Forte’s character slowly degenerates into a guy proposing a raunchy three-way that could end in the most inventive of positions (that’s America, it’s a problem). As Will Arnett, Forte’s co-star in the upcoming Forte-written motion picture “The Brothers Solomon” said in the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly, “This is going to be the Age of Forte.” Let’s hope so. We’ll need more pinkberry yogurt and more falcons.

One – Deerhoof
This band has taken over my life. I only started listening to them about a year ago and already, they have turned my musical holy trio (Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, Radiohead) into a musical holy barbershop quartet!

Two — Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
This is a really insane show on Adult Swim by the guys who did Tom Goes to the Mayor. They let me do a part in one of the shows and it was one of the most fun times I’ve ever had – I got to rip an old man’s arms off and then gouge out a different old man’s eyes — and this was a dream-come-true for me because I hate old men. But all of the shows are so much fun to watch. You really never know what you’re gonna see.

Three — The Curse of the Mystic Renaldo The
There is a guy named Aldo Perez who does a show every couple of weeks at the Living Room in Soho. Me and my friends Leo and Demetri just happened to be there one night and saw his show and it was so awesome, our heads exploded. It’s so hard to explain what he does – it’s a mixture of full-commitment comedy and music that has to be seen to be believed. But I just recently went to see his new play (The Curse of the Mystic Renaldo The) at the 3LD Art and Technology Center and my head, which had finally regenerated, exploded all over again. Go see this show! And then go see him at the Living Room!

Four — Camp Wamp
I went to high school with this amazing guy named Steve Wampler. Steve, who has cerebral palsy, used to go to this summer camp for kids in wheelchairs. Well, a few years ago, Steve found out that the camp had shut down so he and his wife Elizabeth got the camp going again. But it takes a lot of time and a lot of money. So if you’ve got some extra money lying around and don’t know what to do with it, go to www.campwamp.org

Five — Pinkberry Yogurt*
I have always had a passion for ice cream based desserts. But then I got a physical and found out that I had high cholesterol so I tried to transfer that passion to frozen yogurt. But most frozen yogurt tastes like frozen turds so that was a problem. But then Kristen Wiig introduced me to Pinkberry yogurt and to my excitement, it tastes like the exact opposite of frozen turds. And that, my friends, is the highest praise for a yogurt establishment.

Shitty Version of the best Falconer skit